Not without my rent-a-car
To rent a car is no big deal, normally. Mr. Rent-a-car walks over to his window, normally, has a look at his back yard, and if there is a car he rents it out. Most of the time, of course, Mr. Rent-a-car is a Miss Rent-a-car in a redyellowblue uniform and looks like a stewardess. She does not have a window. Instead she glances at a board on the wall with lots of little hooks for car keys. If there is one, you get your car. It is as easy as that.
But in the land of unlimited possibilities it is not at all as easy as that. Our Madame is nice and kind and full of readiness to help. Behind us, she points out with her knitting needle, is a "courtesy phone". We could use it to call the car rental companies. The numbers we would find on the board next to the phone.
So I walk over and dial a number and wait. It takes some time, but then there is a half-asleep operator on the other end of the line, several thousand miles and quite a few time zones away from here. He asks me politely for my wishes, and I tell him that I would like to go to Maui and I need a car there. Just a moment please - tap tap tap goes the keyboard of his computer, then a tinny melody, dadeli, didela, please hold the line, dadeli - and there he is again: "I am so sorry, but there is no car available!"
Oh well. Same game, next number: 800-ALAMO or so. You can even dial letters in the States; that's a nice feature. And then you are in Chicago, San Francisco, wherever - just not here or on Maui. Please hold the line...
Nothing. Don't worry, no problem, there are lots of car rental companies. Broooop - broooop - brooop: Please wait.
"The more administration is able to free itself from schematic and mechanical jobs, the more it gains in idealistic and creative values. It frees its powers for its real tasks, which cumulate in care and help for the human community. Isn't this fantastic?"
Absolutely. That's more than fantastic. But who was it who said these wonderful prophetic words? Was it Schopenhauer? Shakespeare? Goethe? Nope. It was Max Zacherl, the founder of the "Association of fighters against bureaucracy", in Bavaria, in Germany, in 1948, full of enthusiasm for the possibilities of the punch card. Never heard of him? You do not know him? Well, you are not alone.
But care and help for the human community cumulate here and now in the repeated statement: "So sorry. Nothing available." And, to make it even worse, not for the whole next week.
That's the way it can go: There you are in paradise and do not get a car. Not a single one. Not even for three days. And who is the one to tell you that? A computer. A dumb, brainless machine with a screen tells you. The sixth generation after the punch card. Isn't that fantastic, Herr Zacherl? Did you imagine this kind of future? "Care and help for the human community!" Ha! Very funny.
Half an hour later I am so peevish that I am no longer able to speak, neither German nor English. My darling, still relatively fresh, tries the second half of the car rental companies on the board. But she doesn't have any more luck than me.
"What the heck is wrong?" we ask Madame totally enervated after at least one hour of futile telephone calls. She puts her knitting gear away and thinks.
Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three - and then a little yellow lightbulb appears above her head: "Mais oui, of course, there's a big convention 'ere!"
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